Don’t go surfing in the English surf\\
It’s cold and it’s dirty and the beach is worse\\
There’s glass in the sand and the ice cream man is cursed\\
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Don’t go walking in the summer sun\\
Without a sun cream factor of a Hundred and One\\
The burns and the boils are gonna try and spoil your fun\\
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Come out in the sunshine\\
It’s gonna rain sometime\\
It won’t get better but it might never get worse\\
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Don’t try this verse if you’re sat at home\\
And get permission first before you use the phone\\
Keep your eyes on your purse if you’re shopping on your own\\
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And don’t get caught with your trousers down\\
If you’re under eighteen on the underground\\
When the boy of your dreams in the cut-down jeans comes round\\
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Bring him out in the sunshine\\
It’s gonna rain sometime\\
It won’t get better but it might never get worse\\
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Caffeine is a drug\\
Tobacco is a drug\\
Microwave ovens\\
Will put toxins in your grub\\
And if your grub is fried\\
That’s a Heart Attack Plus\\
Or you could step outside\\
And get run over by a bus\\
In the sunshine\\