Robin he don't have a lot but Robin always gives me what he's got\\
And I know him so well I feel like I assembled him myself\\
I'm so glad he's around Robin doesn't ever let me down\\
\\
Patrik was purpose built he's got swivel he's got gas lift he's got tilt\\
If you're tall if you're short Patrik will always give you his support\\
I'm so glad that he's there Patrik's so much more than just a chair\\
\\
Friends like these won't hurt or tease or kill\\
Like the people in the office always will\\
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Chris, his frame is pine\\
He's fibreboard, he's solid and he's mine\\
He's been here so long \\
He's someone I can pin my hopes upon\\
And I'm glad that he's here, Chris I'm glad I bought you from Ikea\\
\\
Friends like these won't hurt or tease or kill\\
Like the people in the office always will\\
\\
They'll push you around, they'll trip you up and kick you when you're down\\
If they can they will destroy the timid and the bashful and the coy\\
And because of this they're nothing like Robin, Pat or Chris\\
\\
Friends like these won't hurt or tease or kill\\
Like the people in the office always will\\\\