We had [[one for sorrow, two for joy]]\\
Three for his old girl and four for the boys\\
Five for silver and six for gold\\
Then we lose control\\
So we leave his keys behind the bar\\
Because he's too drunk to drive his car\\
We're on the backseat of this taxi\\
And I don't know where the hell we are\\
\\
But I wish you were here\\
Twisting my arm\\
And bending my ear\\
\\
Whispering grass don't tell Therese\\
Sister Rantzen or her majesty's police\\
I'm terrified, intoxicated, starry eyed and bollock naked\\
Child bearing, adult rated\\
Thoroughly re-educated\\
And I wish you were here\\
\\
We had one for sorrow, two for joy\\
Three for his old girl and four for the boys\\
Five for silver and six for gold\\
Then we lose control\\
So we leave his keys behind the bar\\
Because he's too drunk to drive his car\\
We're on the backseat of this taxi\\
And I don't know where the hell we are\\
\\
But I wish you were here\\
Twisting my arm\\
And bending my ear\\
\\
----\\
\\
title is a spoof on Educating Rita\\