I've a friend called Benjamin who rents a first floor flat\\
directly opposite the Midland bank\\
His best friend's called Jumble\\
He met her in a church hall\\
She didn't have a clue, what a glass of alcohol could do\\

She loved him, he loves her so\\
Jumble made herself at home\\
A bar for the boys and a drink for the girls\\

I hope I fall in love tonight\\
I hope I fall in love tonight\\
The moon is full\\
The stars are bright\\
I hope I fall in love tonight\\

Threee months later the rot set in\\
She realsied the state he was in\\
And late one night, she called me\\
said she had to get put\\
She had it up to here and without a doubt\\
She was miserable and so kissable\\

She'd grown tired of intimacy\\
He's grabbed her by the throat you see\\
She ended up in casualty\\

I hope I fall in love tonight\\
I hope I fall in love tonight\\
The moon is full\\
The stars are bright\\
I hope I fall in love tonight\\

From now on the song gets brighter\\
My broad shoulders helped to comfort her\\
She soon forgot\\
We fell in love along the way\\
I'm still with her to this very day\\
It's miraculous, I'm so vacuous\\

She loves me I love her so\\
24 kids and a mobile phone\\
A pipe and slippers and an old settee\\
I'm deep in debt and finally\\
I've found the flipin' life for me\\
I'm settled down in London town\\
And nothing's gonna get me down\